Not necessarily stories, but just small scribbles about things that I think are worth mentioning ..
My memory is weird
I have often heard myself say that I am “blessed with a good memory”. That’s not untrue, but it’s also not a blanket statement. I think I am blessed with a mixed bag when it comes to memory. I’d say I have an uncanny ability to recall minute details of unremarkable past events, a ‘fuzziness’ for whole chapters of my life, acute recall for certain emotionally charged memories (both positive and negative), a vexing tendency to forget people’s names immediately after I am introduced and lastly bizarre memory intrusions .
I’ll do a whole story on emotionally charged memories as I think they are interesting to unpack in terms of their visceral component and ability to rekindle past feelings of joy, guilt or shame. I’m actively working on attenuating the visceral component of the ones that don’t bring me pleasure. However, what I want to scribble about today is the weirdness of my memory intrusions. I call them that although that may be too strong a statement, they are perhaps more like out of the blue recollections of things that are in no way related to what I find myself currently doing. I’ve never heard anyone else talk about having this experience but it’s not uncommon for me to be absent mindlessly stirring a pot on the stove and have a memory flash into my mind of being in the car driving somewhere. I might be drying my hair and I am suddenly recalling a not particularly life changing meet up with a friend at a coffee shop. Poof, these odd memories just pop into my head for no apparent reason leaving me wondering why on earth am I thinking about this? Why is my brain choosing to dredge that up? It’s almost like someone is playing a randomly selected and really brief video clip of part of your life. Sometimes they are really really trivial. I mean, who remembers in detail the exact moment they opened a restaurant door? If they do remember, why does that memory choose to present itself during [fill in the blank]? I’ve concluded that my memory is weird, perhaps because I am weird? Or maybe not, maybe this happens to everyone and weirdly we just don’t discuss how weird this phenomena is 🙂