A short about being bothered

Not necessarily stories, but just small scribbles about things that I think are worth mentioning ..

I sweat the small stuff

I sweat the small stuff but I can let the big stuff go, or at least be pretty zen about it.  I understand that contentment arises from a give and take and  that human relationships work better when you set reasonable expectations and boundaries with others.   However,…….. however, I can’t stand to see unread emails in my delete folder.   Even if they are ones I don’t intent to read I have to  click on them to revert their status so that there is no numerical tally of unread emails showing.  I just can’t have that, bold numerical tallies are for the inbox only.  Don’t ask me about my spam folder peccadilloes!   If I’m driving and my purse falls off the front seat and the contents escape, I have to immediately round them back up.  I can’t wait till I reach my destination or the safety of a red light, they just aren’t allowed to roll around with such abandon.  There are a few more of these and these things bother me.  I don’t understand why, I don’t have rampant OCD like tendencies.  I don’t arrange my cans with all the labels facing forward or have a correct method for folding towels and my ability to do dishes is sub par at best.  Yet, there are these small things in life that have to be “just so”.  It’s true I do derive pleasure from a good clearing out session, or a well-organized sock drawer, but they aren’t really urges.  I’m not particularly bothered by a bit of sock drawer clutter but I’m bothered by those unread emails or the chap stick in motion.  Should I set myself the test of ignoring these compulsions, seeing what it feels like to not ‘mark as read’ emails I know I am going to delete.  Should I intentionally liberate the contents of my purse the next time I hop in the car to Pilates? Maybe,  what would be the harm?  I am sure I could with a bit of self-directed CBT cure myself of these tendencies, learn not to be bothered.  Conversely are they really hurting anyone?  They don’t reach the threshold of anything clinical and I am actually confident that should the purse scenario present when I’m doing 80 on the freeway I could probably live with it until it was safe to re-trap the escapees.  So I am probably going to do nothing and just note them as curious aspects of my psyche, idiosyncrasies to be smiled at.  After all I am nailing letting go of the big stuff!

photography of person using macbook
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